We’re projecting each other until we’re tired of doing so.
We are others ’projections and the others are our projections. However we put
it, we are never left to be ourselves and we always love strangers. We are not
mature enough to stop imagining behaviours more appealing to us. We can’t see
the people around us as they really are. If we would, we would stop asking them
how to be and accept them as they are. And they would stay with us because they
would feel they don’t need to perform all sort of magic tricks. With some of
them, in a weird way, we would feel complete. But there are expectations,
standards, prejudices, labels, people that we can’t get over, relationships
that we did not end. When we meet somebody new, we come in a package with these
accessories. It is really exhausting to be better than the one that he’s trying
to forget and it is completely wrong to try to prove something, anything. We
should be tabula rasa and give up all the shit that’s keeping us in the
past. There is a reason why you are HERE NOW with these people around you, not
with others, but with these ones. There are lessons to learn. Accept them, face
them, face your fears, live. A friend of mine was telling me she paid a visit
to her ex who was living at that moment with his new lover and she told me how he
used the same pet name with his new lover and the same habits he developed
with my friend during their relationship. He kept all that kind of tenderness
and gestures you are building with someone through years of coexisting. There
was nothing new. Just another face, the same story. Many of us have a prototype
in our mind and are looking for someone who can accomplish certain tasks, the
same tasks, who can tick all our boxes, the same boxes forever and ever. It’s
stupid. The whole idea is to endlessly discover yourself through someone else,
not to stick to your comfort zone. We have built up skyscrapers, we are
conquering other planets, we have thousands of years of existence here and we
understood nothing about us because we are trying to find in other people
things we already know we like instead of endlessly discovering ourselves through them. We understood
nothing at all.
